Cultivating Joy
(5-minute read)
by Estelle Olivares,
Owner HealthForDance | Dance Teacher/Choreographer | Certified Fitness Nutrition Expert | Lifelong Vitamin/Herb Nerd | Wellness Coach
This is a topic I think about quite a lot.
Happiness is a topic oft discussed but (from what I see sometimes) not as oft practiced.
And like anything that is worth doing, it does require practice. I know because I've been practicing for some time now - decades.
Like most people, I desire to be happy.
I was lucky enough to be raised in a loving family situation which also wanted nothing more than for me and my siblings to be happy in life.
But that can be elusive, this sort of general happiness.
When we ask each other, 'How are you?', are we really asking to know or are we just going through the motions?
I stopped mindlessly asking people this surface question a long time ago, unless I truly am asking with presence and also wanting to take the time to listen to how the other person is doing. It is usually better to simply greet people with simple salutations, particularly in passing, rather than ask a question that we don't really have time nor presence for.
When I do ask, 'How are you?', I am making time for this person because I care.
The response to this question can be just as surface if we are mindlessly going about our days.
It makes me a little crazy when people on the street, in passing ask how I'm doing.
I've learned to simply smile and say, Good day to you! (Or Good morning; or afternoon, or evening based on what time it is - I like this language differentiation in other languages and I think it is nice when we use English as such, too.)
But this is intended to get you to think about yourself:
How DO you greet people in passing?
How DO you respond to the question, How are you?
And is the response based on how you're really doing or is it just a surface answer?
How DO you work to cultivate joy in your life?
Because I'm pretty sure we all want to be happy.
And even though some of us were set up with a better, more loving situation from which to cultivate joy, it still requires much daily work.
It does not require a ton of effort. It takes just as much energy to be happy, or joyous, or pleasant as it does to be sad, or angry, or cantankerous...
I remember reading Carlos Castaneda and his character Don Juan said:
“The trick is what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same”
So, how DO you choose to use your energy? And if you really want to be happy, what do you do to cultivate this in your life and daily practice?
Do you practice smiling sometimes (or often) for the simple pleasure of feeling a smile on your face?
If not, why not? Try it sometime!
It feels good to smile and to offer this as a greeting to others.
But mostly to yourself.
This is not about how we 'appear' to others but rather how we feel to ourselves.
And while there are, of course a range of emotions in the human experience - all of which deserve their time in the sun…
Working to cultivate joy inside your being is a practice worthy of your time and energy.
Otherwise you will continue to go through the motions and allow life to happen to you instead of creating the life you truly desire.
I read a beautiful quote recently from the inspiring pages of the Conscious Dying Institute and it went as such:
In Sanskrit there is a beautiful saying....
It is said that when you see a friend, think as though you are meeting them for the first time.
And when you are enjoying something, think that you are enjoying it for the last time in your life.
Do you see what this means?
- Swami Suddhananda
I love this! This kind of presence allows us to en-JOY the precious moments of this life.
My dog greets us with this attitude.
It's as if she has not seen me in forever and a day when I come home from work. She reminds me to greet my friends in this way (maybe not as absurdly over-enthusiastically as she does - truly, it is so silly but too freaking cute for words). And to remember to savor each moment.
She very much lives in the NOW.
And speaking of being silly, how often do you allow yourself to be silly? Just goofy and silly and playful?
Let's play a game in this honor, right now:
FREEZE!
Like, literally, don't move a muscle.
Take stock.
What is the expression on your face?
Can you feel it?
Did it make you smile? I hope so!
Because play and silliness is most definitely a gateway to being present and cultivating joy.
Lately I've been making sure to practice smiling while I am doing my daily little chores.
Like when I make my bed in the morning or tie my curtains back to let in the light of the day; when I open the curtain in my office and greet the beautiful stained-glass artwork I have hung there; when I'm doing little cleaning chores or doing dishes...it's so nice!
Am I perfect at this? Heck no.
But this is not about perfection. It is about striving for more joy despite all the things going on in our brains and in our lives.
Of course, dance is one of my personal favorite ways to cultivate joy in my body and mind.
It is well established that movement heightens the flow of endorphins and dance is my favorite way to move my body and to FEEL the sense of joy in doing so.
If you are a dancer, or practice some dance in your life, do you smile when you are doing so?
I hope this inspires you to cultivate more joy in your world.
It is your world to create, after all.
Don't believe me? Well, suit yourself, but me? I prefer to create the world I want to inhabit.
I don't let other people tell me how it is for me.
That's one of my 'secrets' (obviously it is not a secret).
So despite ALL the 'news' out there and all the tragedy - because certainly there is tragedy, of course - there is also plenty of joy and wonder.
One does not need to be ignorant to be blissful. As a matter of fact, I think it might be the reverse.
Was it not Shakespeare who wrote:
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
Have FUN!
P.S. We're dancing in the ballroom again, teaching classes TWICE weekly! So what are you waiting for? Let’s dance about it! Details here…
